Communication Agreement

We agree the primary purpose of our Communication Agreement is to create a safe
environment where we can each share our pain, our joy and everything in between.
Additionally, we both strive to provide and receive the nurturing our relationship
needs to grow and endure.

To facilitate the realization of these goals we each agree to the following:

We agree that we will not use this communication agreement as club whenever we
perceive our partner as being out of compliance.  Rather, we agree to use wording
like; "I feel we are out of compliance with our communication agreement right now."

We agree to read this communication agreement together a minimum of three times each
week and/or whenever either of us feels our communication has become unhealthy.   

We agree to avoid saying things we know are hurtful to our partner and do not serve
the highest good of our coupleship.

We agree to attempt to engage in "Active (non-defensive) Listening" when communicating
with each other.

We agree to speak and act respectfully to one another and to treat each other with
kindness and compassion.

1. If either of us feel we are being spoken to, or treated, disrespectfully, then
   that person agrees to state their feeling in an "I Feel" statement.

2. The person hearing the feeling agrees to acknowledge the feeling and respond
   by saying the following:

  "I hear that you are feeling _____.  What would you like from me right now?"

3. To assist in developing sensitivity to our partners feelings, we agree that
   whenever one of us is feeling blamed, accused or attacked by the other we will
   state our feelings in an "I Feel" statement.  We will then ask the other if
   they would be willing to restate what was said in a less threatening manner.

I, _______, agree to routinely, and humbly, ask my Higher Power to remove all my
character shortcomings, especially my failure to use "I" statements and my tendency
to be stubborn, sarcastic and to blame my Partner and to make them wrong.  I also
ask my Higher Power to remove any character defect that does not serve the Highest
Good of this coupleship.

I, _______, agree to routinely and humbly ask God to remove my character shortcomings
of interrupting my Partner when they are communicating, my tendency to use
inappropriate tones in my voice and my failure to speak from "I statements". I also
ask my Higher Power to remove any character defect that does not serve the Highest
Good of this coupleship.

We both agree to attempt to the best of our ability to keep these agreements and
to honor each other's request to renegotiate if an agreement does not appear to be
serving the highest good of this coupleship.  

_______________	________________  _______   _______________  ________________
Sponsee Couple) (Sponsee Couple)   Date     (Couple Sponsor)  (Couple Sponsor)