Recovering Couples Anonymous World Service Organization

Recovering Couples Anonymous
Official World Service Organization Website

The Twelve Steps of RCA

Step One	Step Two	Step Three	Step Four	Step Five	Step Six
Step Seven	Step Eight	Step Nine	Step Ten	Step Eleven	Step Twelve

Step 3

We made a decision to turn our wills and our life together over to the care of God as we understood God.

Together two people who are in a committed relationship form a coupleship, a oneness, a distinct and separate entity. This coupleship has a life of its own and needs to be nurtured appropriately. Couple recovery depends on this nurturance. Both partners need individual recovery: meetings, sponsors, therapy, a support group, spirituality, recreation, vocation and other individual interests. A coupleship needs these same elements for couple recovery.

Trust is said to be a major issue for couples, as their experience of trust was violated in previous relationships/family-of-origin.

Step Three involved what we decided to trust together and how we decided to turn our relationship over to a "Higher Power."

Before Step Three could be completed, we went on a "spiritual quest." Bring out your piece of paper and begin a "list" again. On all of your steps, "date" your papers so in referring to them you are able to monitor your growth in this program. "Spiritual quests" vary widely and can involve things such as:

start each day with thanksgiving to our Higher Power
reading scripture together
doing daily meditations
going to church or other house of worship
going to study groups
praying together
a daily walk to enjoy nature
making a trip or a retreat to a spiritually significant place

These quests could have taken days, months or years before a mutually acceptable "statement of faith" would occur. We were encouraged to write down a quest agreement. It could be in longhand, or typed suitable for framing and witnessed by "couple" friends or a "sponsoring couple." This presents a truly warm, supportive and validating experience for all people involved. It is suggested the couple chair a "step meeting" in RCA and share their experience, strength and hope with other couples.

Ultimately, Step Three involved turning our relationship over.

Many couples found it significant to do something formal, traditional (even sacramental) or non-traditional. An example of this was a re-dedication of vows in the presence of friends or even someone of spiritual authority. Some people have re-dedicated their coupleship in a church or synagogue. Some have gone to a bed and breakfast, some have had a picnic with friends in the park, or invited guests to their home for a celebration of their spiritual renewal.

We are invited to be a creative couple and have a memorable event celebrating our increasing commitment to ourselves, each other, and the relationship.

Recognize that we are both on a spiritual path together. Placing our relationship in our Higher Power's hands would mean the end of power struggles and control. We made a decision. We have surrendered. And this is the basic spiritual principle upon which Step Three stands.

Proceed to Step Four

Step One

Step Two

Step Three

Step Four

Step Five

Step Six

Step Seven

Step Eight

Step Nine

Step Ten

Step Eleven

Step Twelve

THE TWELVE STEPS OF ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable. 2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. 4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. 5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. 6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. 7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. 10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. (Used with permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.)